Music

Supplications
created December 2009

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Amazing Grace.
Simply one of my favorites. This is one of those songs that if given a wide open space void of all but me and God, I will sing at the top of my lungs, and I have.

Runaway.
I want to be available for love.
I don’t want to run away from You.

Cause you would wrestle with me til the dawn,
That I might not run through the night.
And in the morning, they’ll be new light.
And You will name me with delight.

I wrote this song in the midst of a wrestling season with the Lord. I was having a hard time actually letting the Lord love me, believing lies, instead of who I was in Christ. I wanted to run from God because accepting His love for me and His view of me seemed so much harder – to have to finally overcome some of these lies that had been unwelcome, but consistent bedfellows. God spoke this phrase to me in that season, “Receive, lest you be found wanting in that day.” I began to understand how powerful it was to receive God’s love and promises daily, though it meant combating the lies, daily. So in this season I decided to make a real effort to turn to the Lord, and begin to wrestle through the lies- “to be available to love, that in the morning there would be new light, and He would name me with delight,” as He taught me about my true identity through His eyes.

Allure Me.
All my words are too small.
And my love is so weak
And my thoughts are so far from reality
And my heart is deceitful
And my flesh just won’t die
Though everyday I tell it, you’ve been crucified.
Oh, I want to walk in holiness.
I want to walk in love.
I want to be awakened again
By a song from above.

Allure me once again, into the wilderness
Restore to me the song of my youth,
and I’ll sing to You again.

Pursue me once again, through my wilderness
Sing over me the song that You sing,
and I’ll sing to You again.

The chorus came out of a time of personal worship as I was meditating on Hosea 2:14-15. The verse came from reflecting on the greatness of God after seeing a Lou Giglio video entitled “How Great is our God”. In it, he talked about the size of the universe and the uniqueness and wonder of our own human body. As I thought about the limitlessness of God I found myself admitting to Him this truth that “all my words were to small and my love was so weak”. I felt so unequipped to communicate to this vast God with my very limited heart, mind, and mouth how I loved Him. I was reminded of these verses of Hosea and began to plead to the Lord to take me back to that place in the wilderness where it’s just me and Him and my love for Him is fresh and unencumbered; to take me back to that place of intimacy with a great and awesome God.

The Greatest Prize.
I see you, standing there
I see you, thinking I don’t care
I see you, hidden in Me

I see you, brushed aside
I see you, trying to hide
I see you, with My eyes
And they burn with love for you.

Cause you are the one I made
that the thought of you would delight me in my darkest days
Though this world wraps you in lies
You remain my greatest prize

You are not hidden to me
And you are not silent to me

I see you, wearing down
I see you, crying out
I see you, pouring out
the fragrance of your life to Me

I see you, in your doubt
I see you, in your fear
I see you, and I am near
Feasting on your devotion.

And if I had to do it all again
I’d gladly bare it all

For just one chance
For just one glance

This song emerged after a time of crying out to the Lord in brokenness. The chorus, was simply God’s love song to me reminding me that I am not silent or hidden to Him, but was included in that great joy which allowed Him to endure the cross. That I was a prize. A great prize to Him. During a time of prayer for children and orphans, the Lord reminded me of this song and it became a song of intercession for suffering children who feel that no one can hear their cries. It continues to minister to my heart, not only of thinking of God’s love for me, but God’s love for those hidden all over the world enduring such hardship and suffering. It compels me to continue to prophesy the Father’s heart over the fatherless.

Fill me with Life.
Oh Lord my weakness is so apparent to me
Would you untie these chords of apathy
That I might fully live in this dying land
Breathe on me, Lord, and touch my weary hands

Release Your Spirit in me
Overwhelm me with your flames of intimacy
Embrace me with your streams of mercy
Release Your Spirit in me
Fill me with life

This song was just a cry for life – full, full, abundant life. I know that God promises it, but it is often a daily struggle to walk in it. This song is simply a prayer that God would do what only He can do and fill me with this life.

Inside the realms of glory.
Inside the realms of glory,
the foolish people live.
Unreasoned and illogical
thinks the world of them.
For in the realms of glory
Man’s wisdom lies unclaimed.
For what use is there for the ways of man,
Inside His loving gaze

They walk by faith
and not by sight
They dance and praise with all their might
To love is to live
To live is to love
with reckless abandon for Him.

Inside the realms of glory lie the mysteries of men.

The words for this song came during a time of journaling. They words were what I like to call “Holy Spirit poetry” – I just listen and write what I hear the Spirit saying, it usually happens very quickly, and my mind is not really engaged in the process. Then I’ll read back over it when the Spirit seems to be done and begin to comprehend what I just wrote. May sound kind of strange, but the Lord really ministers to my heart through this odd process. This song became a reminder to my heart about living my life before the throne of God, inside the realms of glory. That I would live with an unbridled love for God, regardless of how odd my life may appear, knowing within His love my life makes sense.

Father’s Lullaby.
A simple song
To bide the time
While I wait for you
to turn your eyes
Towards Me
And see
A very joyful
A very joyful King

You are such a joy
You are such a joy to Me
That I dance over you
As I sing over you

Over the course of about 2 weeks I had somehow managed to break 3 of my 1st E strings. In the midst of prayer time during those weeks, I really wanted to write a song for my nephew and niece, soon to be born. I was remembering a previous time of prayer where I was thinking of myself as a child and the first time I looked to the sky with that question of “what if there’s someone bigger out there?” I always pictured the delight of the Lord in that moment, looking at me looking towards Him and considering He might really be. I wondered what might the song on the Lord’s heart be as He looks down on these precious ones waiting for that moment when they might look up at Him and consider Him. Picking up my guitar one day, this song began to play itself. Literally, I still don’t know all the chords I play when I play the song. When I finally restrung my guitar and tried to play it again, it sounded horrible. How sweet of the Lord to hide His lullaby beyond the broken string.

Great is thy faithfulness.

This fall, my brother-in-law was diagnosed with cancer. The news was shocking to us all, especially in light of him having just become a first time father a few weeks before the diagnosis. After an evening of weeping and crying out to God for His healing touch and His strength to fill my brother and sister through this season, I finally and exhaustedly, fell asleep. The next morning, I awoke to this song continually playing through my mind. I began to sing it all day and cling to its beautiful words. All I have needed, His hand hath provided. God is able and faithful to do immeasurably more than we can hope or imagine. By God’s grace the cancer was only found in an area of his forehead and has not spread. As I sing this song, I continue to declare God’s promises for Phillip’s complete healing and to remind myself of the character of this Holy one I serve. He leads me beside still waters and I have never been in want. Great is His faithfulness.